Today at Kips Bay, Manhattan Starbucks, I witnessed a scene that revealed the heartbreaking complexity of love, mental illness, and our city’s broken support system. It began when a homeless man knocked over a table, disrupting the calm of the coffee shop. The employee, maintaining remarkable composure, politely asked him to leave. Instead, he curled up and went to sleep right there on the floor.
When EMS arrived, hoping to offer help, he refused – as he has the right to do under our current laws. This refusal transformed what should have been a mental health intervention into yet another police call. While the officers eventually convinced him to leave, I stood there knowing the deeper story that most customers would never guess.
You see, this man has a wife who loves him deeply – so deeply that she remains by his side through their shared homelessness. I’ve witnessed her strength firsthand. Twice before, I’ve seen this remarkable woman work alongside police officers, her voice and presence somehow cutting through his confusion when nothing else could. When he’s lucid, he’s harmless – a different person entirely. But when he’s “tripped out,” he becomes abusive, lashing out at his devoted wife and anyone nearby.
Today, she wasn’t there to help. Her absence was palpable, and I couldn’t help but feel angry at a system that pours billions into homeless outreach programs yet somehow fails to show up in these critical moments. Where were they when this man needed intervention? Why do our laws allow someone in obvious mental distress to refuse the very help they desperately need, leaving law enforcement to handle what is clearly a medical crisis?
The most effective interventions I’ve seen have been when his wife was present. Several times, she’s managed to convince him to accept EMS help – something no professional has managed to achieve. She’s become his unofficial case worker, crisis counselor, and guardian angel, all while battling homelessness herself. It’s a love story playing out on our streets, amid a system that seems designed to fail them both.
Written by Sam Antar © 2024 Sam Antar. All rights reserved.